Let's Start Anew
by apprivoise
Summary: During the wars, Duo is in a rut, trying to figure out his feelings for his once lover, Heero. He is caught in the middle of more than what he had hoped.


"Trowa, where's the key?" I asked, searching the ground. "By the fire pit." He replied, packing up his small backpack. I hurried and looked around, finding them. "I found them. Now where's Heero?" He didn't answer right away but he did after a few moments. "He left with Quatre. They were heading to town to get some supplies. They left a few hours ago…" As if on cue, they were back. I flashed a smile at Quatre. He returned it then went towards Trowa. "Maxwell, where are the keys?" _His_voice boomed from behind me. I turned and was face to face with the devil himself. "I was planning on driving for once, _Yuy_." I commented, smirking at him. His gaze was hard. It took all my strength to not look away. "We have the gundams up by some lake in the woods. There's a small trail, so you'll be driving through that." He turned and went – to either clean his gun or pack up – in the tent.

It wasn't until noon that I was able to sit down and rest. "Duo," Quatre mumbled as he sat down, "Heero told me something…" My eyes widened and it seemed that all the past memories flooded in.

Eight Months Before

"_Duo, are you going out already?" His arms wrapped around my slim waist, his lips pressing against my neck. "I need to. If I don't go now, they'll be worried." "Quatre will be. Not Trowa." I felt a small moan rise in my throat. "Stop. They can't find out…" I mumbled, turning around. I pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "I'll be back in two hours. They'll be with me. Ok Heero?"_

I shook my head. "What did he tell you Quatre?" "Did you guys have a secret relationship?" His words shouldn't have stung. They sunk down to my core. "Did you Duo?" I looked at Quatre, who looked worried. "I hate to break it to you but yeah." I mumbled. I stared into the still hot embers. Heero's soft faced flashed across my eyes. "It ended so don't worry. We'll always be the two enemies." I added then stood up, stretching a little. "I need a nap before tonight." I said and ruffled his dirty blonde hair.

When I got into the tent, he just _had_to be in there. I went and grabbed my rolled up shirt (I used as a pillow) and went to leave. "I told Quatre." I turned quickly and glared. "I thought you were the one that said we had to forget." I mumbled angrily at him. He stared at something in his hands. "Quatre really just guessed it. I told him nothing happened. He said he could tell…" "I don't care. Don't remind me of my mistakes, Heero. Ok?" I mumbled, tearing up as I left. '_Damnit__Maxwell.__Stop__it__already.__' _I thought as I went and slept by the now lit fire. I had a feeling that Quatre had left with Trowa. I was alone with Heero Yuy for the first time in 4 months.

Later, we were all ready to leave. Heero sat with Trowa and Quatre called shot-gun. I hate the woods, so driving in it wasn't too fun. It was all bumpy and everything. "Maxwell, drive better." I heard Heero's annoyed voice come from the back of the truck. "You're fine Duo and can I tell you something?" He asked then he frowned.

All I could think was that he was gonna give me the homophobic talk. It was disgusting. "I think I have feelings for Trowa." His voice was soft and nervous. I knew he wasn't lying. "Duo, I'm sorry for sounding like a homophobic before. I love you like a brother and I'd never want to hurt you." Quatre whimpered, sighing to himself. "Don't be upset, Quat. You're fine. Just let it go. I want a quiet ride to the lake. Sorry," I smiled sympathetically at him. I just saw his nod before I heard a slight snap. Heero's gun. Tonight was going to be long.

I had been driving for an hour before we reached out destination. I parked then hurried to go and check Death scythe. But before I could, a familiar voice echoed in the woods. "You made it Heero."

I turned quickly and saw Relena. "What the hell. Why are you here?" I growled. "I was the one who transported the gundams here, Mr. Maxwell." Relena said to me. I looked at Heero for a quick second before heading to my suit. I looked it over before getting into it. "I'm going to get into my position before it gets too late." I said then I was in and going. The feeling of being alone was great.

"I'm surprised that it was such a short mission. I like resting." Quatre chuckled at me and I thought I saw a smile from Trowa. "Why are you complaining so much Maxwell." I turned towards him and I said, "What to know what-" I started but Quatre elbowed me. Heero growled then went back to listening to Relena talk. I frowned and got up. "I'm thinking of leaving, like Wufei." I said then went to the tent I shared with Heero. '_What__do__you__think__you__'__re__doing__Maxwell?__You__want__to__give__up__your__only__life?_' My thoughts argued with me. I laid down and looked at the fire through the cracks. What _was_ I doing? Was I really willing to leave Death scythe and my teams? I guess I was…. I closed my eyes and sighed.

It must have been awhile before I heard someone come into the tent. "When are you going to leave?" The voice I heard was one of the old person I had been in love with most of my life. "Why do you care?" "Do you think I hate you now or what?" He asked then sat down and sighed. "I think you proved to me that you never got over Relena." He leaned over then he lifted my chin. "Duo, open your eyes." I listened, but as soon as I did, his lips pressed against mine. The emotion that I could feel probably stopped my heart. "H-Heero, stop. Come on…." I mumbled and pulled away, avoiding his gaze. "Duo, what made us change?" He asked then he went and hugged me gently, sighing. I fell asleep like that, waking up alone.

I got up and changed, heading outside. I covered my eyes and then flung my long braid over my shoulder. "Morning sunshine." I glared over at Relena. "Everyone's going, so we can talk." "Talk?" I laughed loudly. "You know what I'm gonna say Duo. Don't get near Heero anymore. You've made him soft. He's the only tough gundam pilot." Her threat meant nothing to me. I wasn't going to let Heero near me anyways. I didn't want to create a problem at all.

It was about an hour after that they all returned. Like I had said the night before, I was going to leave. No one believed me until they saw my things. I was getting Death scythe ready to be destroyed when I heard Quatre. "Duo! Don't leave. Come on…" I wanted to settle down. I wanted the war to stop but it wouldn't. I had to stay… But Relena and Heero….

"Duo, if you really plan to leave, you have to go through me." Heero's voice was clear. His voice cut through and into my thoughts.

That's why I should stay. I still had Heero with me. I couldn't let him go and I finally knew that.

I looked at them and I frowned a bit to myself before dropping back to the ground, face to face with the others. "Why should I stay? Tell me that." Quatre was silent for the longest time before saying softly, "You seem to be the only one that has anything to say around here. We need you're good attitude and you're one of the best fighters. We couldn't be able to do the things we could without your help." I wanted to hug him, but I knew right well that Relena would just come in and say something to us all. I glanced at Heero now. His lips were tight and I could tell there was some fight going on in his head. But his thoughts won once again and his eyes grew dark again. He wouldn't say anything anymore. It had always been like that.

Later that night, I was laying out in the moonlight. The slight breeze was welcomed since it had been so hot during the day. I heard footsteps come towards me and I sighed faintly. I couldn't see in the dark and I couldn't place the sound of how soft they were. I sat up and looked in the direction of the sounds.

The sudden feeling of someone pushing me over and pinning me there made me let out a small gasp and I struggled a bit, but then a pair of lips pressed against mine and they slowly kissed me. I lifted my back a bit, still struggling then I gasped again. I would always remember this feeling. The person chuckled faintly and pulled away. "Heero..." I whispered and then I looked up into his face.

"This was supposed to happen before but I didn't want to scare everyone else and especially you." He whispered then he let my wrists go slightly and he placed them on either side of my head. Heero leaned down and kissed me again. This made me thankful that I had moved away from the camp a little bit to sleep by myself.

We laid out there together all night, just talking and kissing and sometimes a little bit more, but nothing far. When dawn started to peak its way through the night time clouds, Heero left me alone, leaving with a small kiss. I sat there and stared at the sky as it grew lighter and lighter. "_I__promise__to__always__be__by__your__side.__Through__thick__and__thin.__I__promise__to__never__hurt__you.__We__are__always__to__be__together._" I quietly quoted the last words spoken by Heero before getting up. Relena was standing there in the shadows. I saw her through the corner of my eye. "Spying on me Miss Peacecraft?" I smirked and glanced at her more. "What were you quoting?" She asked and stepped forward. I laughed lightly then I said, "I think you should stay out of my business. This won't turn out well for you." I said then I left her there, walking to camp.

It wasn't until the next day that Relena finally left. I smiled largely, laughing to myself. Quatre elbowed me then I gasped and then I smirked at him, "Aw come on Quat. I was just being nice." I winked at him, smirking. Relena was talking to Heero and he glanced at me before giving her a slight hug then backing off. "Well it was nice to be here with you all. Next time I hope to be able to help you more." I smiled at her then Quatre elbowed me once again then I backed off. Today was great!

That night, I sat by the lake with Heero. I leaned against him gently and I looked at our hands. They were laced and on our legs. "Why are we doing this exactly Heero? Isn't someone going to notice you gone and us sleeping more in the day time…" He laughed faintly and kissed my shoulder, "Don't worry. Ok? Trowa and Quatre do worse by themselves." I gasped and looked at him, "Don't tell me they're already having…" "Shh. Do you really want them to hear you?" He asked and he chuckled once again.

I looked at him a bit then I narrowed my eyes. "There's something wrong with you. What is it? What did I do?" I asked then he looked away from me and stared at the lake. "I don't think I'm over Relena yet. I realized that last night when we were talking. All I could think was when we were stuck with each other those times. She was a big part of me and she still is. I don't know if I can just let her go." After he finished I slowly unlaced our fingers and moved a few feet away from him. I could tell he tensed up from the sudden emotions dripping off of me. "Duo, it's not that I don't love you…" "Don't say my name like that." I mumbled and then I stood up. "I thought that you had put that shit behind you Heero. We had been happy. Or… I thought we had been." I said as quiet as I could. "Tomorrow, don't come and find me, Heero." I said and then I headed to where I put my sleeping bag and pillow.

This is why I should leave, because I had been played. And my weak heart had fallen for it.

"Duo. Duo. Duuuuoooo." I opened my eyes a bit, looking up, seeing Quatre. I frowned then sat up, "Shh. I'm tired. It's so early. Why are you waking me up?" I asked him and yawned loudly. I let my long hair fall behind me, disgusted that it was so dirty. "We have to go and get provisions today. We can also take some showers." He added the last part just for my enjoyment. I laughed at him and then I stood up. "Sounds good. Just us?" I asked and he nodded. "Heero told me that we had to go this time." I tensed then I yawned and said, "Ok. I'll get changed and be ready in fifteen minutes. You're driving." I said then I went and started braiding my hair again as he left. The memories of last night had still been fresh in my mind. I hated them and I had wished I could avoid him. He was a different person than I thought. That was what bugged me the most.

Once we got back, my hair was still dripping. I loved showers and I loved long ones the best. My hair was high maintenance so it had to be brushed and showered a lot… It was a load but I loved it.

I went and packed a small bag of clothes and things for a small hike. Quatre watched me as he talked to Trowa, Heero was no where in sight. "Duo, where exactly do you plan on going?" Quat smiled at me a little. "On a hike. I want to get out of here before we have to leave again. I like walking. It keeps me from getting fat." I winked a bit then I threw the pack over my back and then I said, "I should be back within the next four days. I want to think about some things." I said and then Trowa nodded to a small clearing by the lake and he sighed to me. He never talked to me, and it was weird. "You can't leave without hearing Heero out…" I laughed then I glanced up at him, my eyes angry. "If he knew better, he wouldn't come near me right now. Now, what do you know about this?" I asked him. "Everything. Relena…" "Yeah, he loves Relena. So what? I'm over it. I'll find someone good for me soon." I said then I started to back off and I turned around, seeing Heero near my things. "Trowa. Why do you even care about this situation?" I asked before walking off. I was going to kill them all.

"Because it's all a lie." He said then he left and went back to Quatre. I walked off towards my sleeping bag and pillow, and towards Heero. I growled gently. I hated being angry, I felt so different. "Get out of here, Yuy. I'm not wasting my time with you anymore. Didn't I tell you to not come near here?" I growled out my words. I happen to glance at his hand and he was holding something. "Duo," "I told you to not say my name like that!" I said, shaking with anger, and sadness. '_Control__yourself__Maxwell.__You__need__to__calm__down.__You__have__to__remember__not__to__do__anything__rash._' My thoughts reminded me. "Hear me out before you leave." He said with that hard, blocked voice of his. "Get away…" "Remember when I first came to your apartment? Remember how you told me everything that had been going on, and how you were going to be called back to work with the gundams again?" His memory was great, and I knew that he probably would remind me of my words if I didn't agree. I nodded curtly. "You also told me of your feelings. You told me that it didn't matter if I loved Relena, that as long as I accepted you, you'd be ok." I shook even more, clenching up my fists."Get on with it Yuy." "What I'm saying is that…. I remember that. I remember everything that happened in all those months we were together. Relena doesn't want me to be with everyone anymore. She knows what we have and she doesn't want me to move on. That's why I had to say that, so she'd leave you…. Us, alone. I never wanted to hurt you." I lifted my fist swiftly and nailed him right in the face. I grabbed my things and started towards the trail. I was fuming and maybe, I wouldn't come back at all.

It was day eight of being alone in the woods. I had heard footsteps behind for the best part of today and I had hoped it wasn't anyone. I had a gun and a knife with me, so I wasn't too worried, but it was getting on my nerves. I sighed to myself as I got settled down for the night. I set up a fire and set up my tent afterwards. I was cooking my dinner when I heard them again and I growled gently, snapping out my knife. "Who's out there?" I called out. Silence. I listened for at least ten minutes before hearing rustling behind me. I turned quickly, but not quick enough. The person had grabbed my wrist in a tight grip and pulled the knife away then dropped me to the ground. I hadn't fought anyone in months so I was a bit rusty. I hurried and kicked and tried punching at my attacker, but it didn't work. I was getting tired after twenty minutes of struggling. It was dark and we were in the woods a bit, away from my fire. I couldn't see the face. But once the person talked, I almost had to hold back rage. "Stop struggling, Maxwell." It was Heero.

I growled, my eyes widening. "You fuck. Why did you follow me? Why are you here? Get off of me!" I yelled at him. He got off as soon as I said something then I moved towards the fire, but always looking at him. "I didn't follow you. Quatre just told me where you were since he had seen your fire when he was driving towards town." I frowned and then I said, "That didn't mean you had to come, Heero. I told you to leave me alone. What don't you understand?" I growled at him. He sighed faintly then he said, "I told you that I was lying when I said that stuff. I didn't mean to say it to you. She made me say it D…. Maxwell." He was starting to get quieter and less of a talkative person. "I don't believe you. You said all that with such sincerity. I don't care." He winced a bit then he sighed and he looked at me, "Duo Maxwell, I love you. I just wish you would believe me." He was quiet as he said that, then he looked at me.

I don't think I could be able to leave him. I always want to, but being with him makes me so happy. It's sometimes the best and sometimes it's not but I always deal with it. I wanted to make this work over a year ago, and it finally is working out and I don't know what to do with it. If I could change anything in the past few weeks, I wouldn't. This all fits perfectly.

"Heero Yuy, I do love you. I never stopped."


End file.
